PROLOGUE

What is Sex? What is Love?

Even in this new age of Artificial Intelligent that birthed ChatGPT, one that is supposed to know everything, I find myself asking questions without getting soul satisfying answers.

Why do we struggle more than past generations in finding lasting love despite our freedom & technology? Hookups have become an accepted lifestyle but does it really brings us closer to love? Why is it so hard to find true love? Divorce rates are all time high even though we can choose whom to marry while they lived through a generation of ‘Arranged marriage’. Is sex outside of marriage truly a betrayal… or simply part of being human? Why do people closest to us, our families, the ones who is meant to protect me end up hurting me the most?

Love didn’t seem to match what we watched on Television & Disney Movies. The truth is, most of us were never taught about sex either.
Not by our families.
Not in school.
Hardly by society.

Sex is seen as shameful, dirty, embarrassing. Religion label sexual desires as ‘Sinful’— they fear the freedom it represents. Because when people choose sex outside the written sacred law, they also choose to belong to themselves.. It’s not rebellion, it’s spiritual sovereignty. Meanwhile politics create laws that deny the most primal needs of a Men even when he’s willing to exchange value fairly.

The society swings the other way, too.
Some wear seduction like a badge of honor:
Pickup artists turning women into conquests through negging, Boys joining the toxic masculinity culture to prove their self worth through the number of girls they slept with, Successful men flaunting models like trophies instead of life partners.

Somewhere in between those extremes are the curious and lost ones:
Teenagers fumbling with their early exploration of sex— How does one perform it?
Young adult wonders— Should I do it because I am horny or in love? Wait.. how do I even tell the difference?

The young ones asks:
Is it wrong to explore sex?
Is it okay to use porn as my main sex education?
Or go deeper into the dark corners of sex forums that blur the line between desire and degradation?

Now that I am an adult:
How do I find love?
Why do they stop texting after sleeping with me?
Am I not desirable or worth the pursuit?
Can a relationship really be bought with money?

For the married ones:
Why do I crave someone else, even when I’m already in one?
If my husband slept with someone else, is this the end of our love and it must be purely his fault, right?

Finally, to those of us who carried scars from childhood trauma, fail relationships or sexual abuse.. Ever thought about how long you have wallowed in it. Have we underestimated or forgotten how powerful it shapes who we are today?

Never has sex and love been more complicated.

I was born at the end of 19th Century with one foot inside Gen Z and the other in Millennials. I lived the wild rhythm of this generation. I’ve explored it all… Sometimes out of naivety and innocence, sometimes confusion but in the later years, out of curiosity to understand this World. Because I am the author of my own soul.

I haven’t figure it all out yet.

But one thing for sure, we all want to be truly loved and enjoy sex that awakens our soul not shames or hurt us. Through my real life stories, may you find some answers, relief or even release. One that your education system, family and society refused to talk about. I love to explore new things in life through immersion. I feel that’s it’s the best way to truly understand something from the inside out rather than standing at the side lines judging from assumptions and own insecurities.

So as you read on, stay open minded.
Some past can be painful but it holds the very essence for us to grow. Now that I mentioned that, perhaps this is part of my healing journey too. While the rest of it... Is just me being a kinky Sex Bunny expressing herself fully about the sexy burning moments she had with her lover(s) during in her private encounters. 😉

If there’s one thing I wish for you, it is that you will find your answers not in darkness but the kind of light that sets your soul free.